Antigua Guatemala

Ola mis amigos. Vosotros ven me en Antigua, Guatemala con le viajar crocs.



Ok, enough of the Spanish as i have to admit its one of the hardest things i've ever done. Quite why at the tender age of 39 i've decided to try and learn a new language, when i was clearly never any good at them at school, is beyond me!! But that really is the main reason i'm here so i'm soldiering on (we've just started week 2 and i really am learning that Spanish is a language muy loco, very mad is the literal translation!!)

I think i gave you a slight update at the end of the last blog, but i'm now living with a Spanish family (Jose and Lucky) in Antigua. (the picture of the crocs is on the roof terrace with Volcano Aqua in the background). I'm not alone in my quest for Spanish as most of my housemates goto class everyday, the rest are volunteer workers out here at the various projects that the agencies run. It really is quite a fun existence, very much like going back to Uni, but i guess with slightly more knowledge about the world and a little bit more cash. The only thing i've really struggled with so far other than the toilet paper thing (more on that later) is the slight lack of privacy. 9 of us share 2 showers, 1 sink and 2 toilets and you can pretty much hear everything thats going on (this results in me getting up rather early for my morning constituational, i mean you cant have other people disturbing that can you??!!) And the toilet paper thing....... i noticed when i got here that all toilets seem to have a bin next to them, which always seem to have an abundance of toilet paper in. In these times of swine flu (much more on that later...) i assumed that maybe my housemates were nursing colds.... not so. No toilet papaer goes down the toilet..... hard to imagine i know, slightly unpleasant, but you do sort of get used to it. Apparently its all to do with the Guatemalan sewers having very narrow pipes and toilet paper blocks them up.....big design error......

Life in the house is excellent though. We're a very happy little bunch and the only sad thing is that it all seems rather transitory, so just when you get to know someone and persuade them that going to the pub every night isnt really that bad (i seem to have adopted the role of head ringleader in getting everyone out of an evening) they leave.... maybe its me, but i really dont think so. So a quick run down in no particular order of the assembled gang -

Matt and Jordan - Canadian students that have been out here 3 months volunteering - great lads, like a beer, but unfortunately have just left (Matts brother arrived to make a film and so there wasnt enough room.... big shame)

Melissa - American mountain bike guide (now in Matt and Jordans room) - hard core - climbed the biggest volcano here last weekend in hail and driving wind with altitude sickness.... (think i'll pass on volcano climbing for a bit to be honest)... a good lass....

Rachel - American, leader of a big volunteer project out here. Longest serving member of the house (been here 4 months or so) - likes a lively debate and has been trying to teach me how to salsa (a big project in itself..... one that might take a while...!)

Georgie - Austrailan, teaching in a school in Guatemala City that is perched next to a rubbish dump - leaves soon and has a flight unfortunately via Mexico City (this has caused much debate over dinner the last few days...)... will be massively missed.....

Patrica and Bas - Dutch couple who work in one of the rural schools (in San Matteo, if youve checked my facebook pics you will have seen them - i helped them clear their new playground) - top laugh and again leave this weekend to travel to Equador and Chile... leaving drinks Thursday if anyone's around!!

Barbi - Austrian girl that i havent really met much - she's been travelling and has only just returned - brought a lovely carrot cake to the house though...!!

Mari - Norweigen, bright as a button and my classmate at El Mundo. Cheers me up hugely on our walks back to La Casa when i'm whinging about how hard Spanish is.....

So there we all are. A top crew if i ever saw one, but i have to say its our hosts Jose and Lucky that make the house. They really are top value. The food is exceptional, theyre always smiling and laughing and generally making everyone feel brilliant about themselves, no matter whats going on. The one big house rule is Spanish at mealtimes. Given that my knowledge of Espanol is rather limited, Jose thinks its hilarious to try and get me to natter away in my rather English accent. After just over a weeks lessons i'm sort of getting the hang of it, but its still a struggle. It does cause alot of hilarity however (the rest of the house speak pretty much fluent Spanish so they are a big help at my stumbling attempts to chat.)

No two days seem to be the same here i have to say, but the general routine goes pretty much like this...

Get up, shower, eat breccie (generally fruit) spend an hour or so emailing and chatting to whoever is around, spend the next hour or so struggling massively with my Spanish homework (homework?? at my age) get a bit grumpy as realise Spanish is potentially the hardest language on the planet, have lunch and attempt to use my new Spanish words (Ejote - green beans just so you know), stroll to Spanish with Mari, spend the next 4 hours getting huge brainache as i have to concentrate massively to keep up with Aleida my non English speaking Spanish teacher, stroll back with Mari and whinge about Spanish (thankfully she seems very happy to put up with my whinging and has realised that promises of cereveza will always lift my spirits!), eat dinner with the crew (some sort of lively debate always ensues, unfortunately all about swine flu recently), get changed, goto pub of choice (it changes every night) have either a few or alot of beer and then stroll home....

All of this is excellent fun but a few bits need to be expanded on.

Spanish lessons - I goto a school called El Mundo and my teacher is the lovely Aleida, the long suffering Aleida i should call her due to the length of time its going to take her to teach me Spanish!! Doesnt speak a word of English (which they say is a very good thing as i have to speak Spanish) and has had an exceptionally interesting life. I was completely unaware of how bad the civil war in Guatemala was (around 30 yrs ago) - but as far as i can ascertain it seemed to amount to a huge amount of ethnic cleansing. The Mayans (the indigenous people that stem from the hoards that used to live in all those Mayan Temples) were persecuted beyond belief with many tens of thousands being killed. Aleida is half Mayan and half Latino and her and her family had to leave the village/town they lived in and leg it to Antigua which at the time was viewed as a safe haven. We've had some very interesting chats (her in perfect Spanish and me with my Spanglish) and i have to say that she really is great. I have at least another 3 weeks with her and i'm hoping that at the end of that i might be able to speak some sort of basic Spanish (i have to admit i got slightly dismayed when she produced a Spanish game for el ninos aged 3 and below the other day.... thats how good my Spanish is at the moment!!)

Drinking in Antigua. A very different experience than drinking anywhere else in the world. All the pubs/bars/discos officially close at 1am. Rather early. They do have after parties (i've yet to goto one as i've heard rather unsavory things can happen, but will obviously brave one soon, for research purposes of course..!) and lock ins. I got involved in a lock in in Cafe No Se (translates to Cafe i dont know btw) on Saturday night which involves everyone cowering in the back bar drinking relatively quietly hoping the police dont turn up. I have to say thank you to the Swedish Barmaid, whose name i cant remember, as it was her leaving drinks and because of her it was free mescal (posh tequila) all night.... bottles of it on the bar. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but wasnt so good on Sunday morning......The other major haunt is Monoloco (the crazy monkey) which is really like any other American Sports bar in the world. It does do the worlds largest Nachos however, has a rocking ladies night on a Tuesday (3Q a drink for the ladies, thats about $0.40) and i'm potentially going to work there (they seem a little short in the bar staff department and as i seem to be going back to my Uni roots it seems only right i should get a job in a bar...!!) The only other bar story of note is me completely failing to notice a tiny step in Reillys Bar (yes, an Irish pub.... they get everywhere) and falling flat on my face giving my knee a proper knock... it hurt like hell and was exceptionally embarrassing so i wont dwell on it too much...!

Also walking home from the pub. A very normal thing to do i hear you cry. Agreed, but here it involves some sort of risk. There are tonnes of police in Antigua and most people will say that this is the safest city in Central America. That said, Guatemala is an exceptionally poor place and if you bash a slightly drunken gringo over the head as he stumbles home you can probably get yourself at least a few weeks wages for free (the average wage here is less than $90 a month). I've only had two rather worrying incidents happen, being followed home by blacked out cars is never really my idea of fun, but thankfully due to my enormous stature (i really am rather big out here, i know most of you will say i'm rather big anywhere, but here i'm more 3XL rather than the normal XL!!) i seem to be less of a target. To show you how big people think i am here, i had a chap this evening come upto me, try and lift me up (obviously to no avail as he was about 5'1'') he then declared i was the biggest person he'd ever met and insisted on buying me drinks (maybe he though i might get violent, if only he knew the glass jaw Griffiths stories.... very funny indeed!!) In general we stroll home in little packs which seems to keep the robbers at bay.... always something to think about tho. And i'm also told that some of the police can be a little, well corrupt at best, so theyre not always as trustworthy as you think!!

Antigua as a place is a bit like any other old Colonial Town (for some reason it really reminds me of Cheltenham, but without the beer garden, maybe i'm just getting nostalgic in my old age.) The people here are pretty religious it would seem (the old Spanish Catholic thing, i wasnt here for Easter, Semana Santa, but the place goes nuts with huge processions, fiestas etc etc) but there really are a stack load of churches. The only real worrying thing, other than every single shop being guarded by a chap with a sawn-off, or the constant threat of death by swine flu, is that this city has been flattened 4 times in its history by earthquakes. Apparently you feel little tremors fairly often (i havent yet but that maybe something to do with the mescal and cereveza!!) It nestles in a valley of 3 huge Volcanoes, 2 of which are pretty active. And its been 40 years since the last big earthquake..... no one seems to mention that theyre a little overdue another biggy, i just have my fingers crossed that mother nature can hang on for another few months!! That said, the houses are built a bit differently now, but its still a slight concern i have....

Volunteer work. Another huge reason for people to be here. It seems that if youre not learning Spanish, youre helping in schools, build houses, working in clinics etc etc. I went with Bas and Patricia to their school in San Matteo, up in the hills above Antigua, a week ago to help with the building of a new playground for the kids. Its very hard to describe how poor these places are and that without the volunteer people alot of youngsters really wouldnt get any education at all. All rather humbling as when we turned up to clear the small site that was going to become the playground (it had a really rather unpleasant old long drop bog in the middle of it we had to demolish which really wasnt nice at all...) a load of kids turned up who seemed more than happy to slog away alongside yours truely digging stuff up, dragging stones and logs around, putting me to shame to be honest. They really dont have anything (most of them live in corregated iron shacks, that i'm told house upwards of 10 people - not great when the rainy season comes...) but are happy as pie..... bit of a reality check when you think of everything you have back home. The real distressing thing is that when you look at the extent of the poverty you find yourself feeling a little overwhelmed by it all (and i havent been to places like India where i'm sure its even worse...), but i guess every little helps and i'm certainly going to be mucking in again before i leave.......

And the other subject i have to touch on - Swine Flu!!!! ....Guatemala unfortunately has a huge border with Mexico and the majority (well alot in anycase) of travellers will get on a bus in Mexico city and head into Guatemala. The double whammy for us here is that Antigua is a huge tourist destination, it being safe (ish), clean, fun, happening etc etc and therefore the risk of the flu croping up here seems to be rather high....However, there hasnt really been any reported cases at all and what i find rather odd is that the only people that seem to have died so far are in Mexico City, which is a city with a huge poor population with little or no access to medical care. No one seems to have said who exactly the people that have died are (dont get me wrong anyone dying is a very bad thing) but my guess is that theyre going to be the same people that have no real medical care....My housemate Patrica has worked with flu vacination programmes for a very long time (before she came travelling) and she tells me that Tamiflu can pretty much sort you out if you catch this virus..... And the world stock pile of Tamiflu seems to be in pretty good shape, i mean you can even buy it over the counter here in Antigua (well you could up until a few days ago, i havent tried as yet) - so i'm not really sure what all the fuss is about. That is until one of my housemates gets flu and i'll be heading for the Guatemala City airport for the first flight back home (if they'll let me on the flight that is...!!) Media hype once again.... we'll see.....

So thats about the lot so far..... if i think of anything else i'll blog away, but lunch beckons and i know theres lots of anxious blog readers waiting for the latest instalment!! This weekend is a long weekend in Guat, as i know it is in most places in the world, and so i'm going to do what i know best..... off fishing!! The Pacific coast of Guatemala is home to a whole host of huge fish and i'm going off to try and tempt a few of them to the end of my line. I actually better be successful as i've promised the house i'll cook fresh fish on Monday night..... is going to all be a little embarrassing if i dont catch anything. There isnt a local Sainsburys i can pop to to dig myself out of that hole!! Should be exciting stuff though and i'm sure i'll have a story or two for you all the beginning of next week!! You all take care out there.....

Hasta Luego

B

Flores and Tikal

So myself and the travelling crocs now find themselves in sunny Guatemala. And my short time here has definitely been full of adventure it has to be said. (check out the Crocs on that Mayan Temple...!!)

After spending a morning in Belize City (at the not so luxurious Princess Hotel) i jumped on a plane to Flores which would be my home for the next few days. Its a tiny airport i have to say, which was a good thing as i was arriving in a 6 seater Cesena (Mum you would've hated it!!). We'd had fantastic views of Lago Peten Itza for much of the flight and got a proper birdseye view of Flores from the air as we came into land. (the pics are on facebook if you want to check them out.) The first thing that struck me as i got out of the plane was how hot it was. I know it'd been pretty toasty in Belize but i guess you forget how much difference a sea breeze really does make. This was that stifling heat that really whacks you in the face. I strolled through immigration (i dont even really think the passport stamping man even looked at my passport) and the next major obstacle to overcome was the scrum of taxi drivers that mobbed you as you left the airport building. Bit like a load of paps when an A lister stumbles out of some nightclub slightly the worse for wear. The lucky recipient of my business was a chap called Ismal who i have to admit spoke pretty good English (we all know that my Spanish is virtually non existent which became very apparent when trying to buy a mobile phone this afternoon... more of that later!) Ismal wasted no time in asking if i was here to go and see the ruins in Tikal (everyone that comes here is basically on the way to see the Mayan Ruins) and we promptly arranged (after some haggling) for him to pick me up at 6am the following morning for the trip. The earlier the better he said as it would be very hot there... and he wasnt kidding. $30.... not bad for 3 hours in his taxi and him sitting around waiting for me for 5 hours while i stumbled around the Temples.

He dropped me off at Hotel Santana which again i have to say was very decent, if not a little pricey for this part of the world. However it had good AC in the room (which was a must given the heat) bathroom with hot water, safe, little balcony overlooking the lake - all pretty top notch. And i then thought it was time to go and do what any seasoned (well semi-seasoned in my case) traveller should do when in a new boiling hot country - find a bar and get a beer! Hotel la Villa del Chef - huge sunset bar overlooking the lake - perfect. And also rather cheap (sunset happy hour 5-7pm 8Q a cerveza, thats around £0.70 in real money) Sitting watching the sun go down over the lake i have to admit that i thought i could all get rather used to this travel lark. It was all pretty relaxing watching the fishing boats coming back from a days fishing and bizarrely hundreds of bats flying out of the town across the lake for a busy night catching things (thats my only real complaint of Central America so far, there are a huge amount of flying things that really want to take a nip out of you - most annoying) Dinner of chicken rice and beans (a Guatemalan classic and damn good) and early to bed so that i could be up with the lark for my trip to Tikal.

6am and there sat outside the Hotel was Ismal in his taxi for the one and half hour drive to Tikal. It was as we got going that it struck me how incredibly poor this country really is. Much as Flores is definitely not the richest little town i've ever stayed in (theyre digging up all the cobbled roads there at the moment aswell which seems to be causing a hell of alot of agro, bit like they are in Clapham only its a bit hotter in Flores!) compared to the villages you drive through, well Flores definitely has it good. And it has water which alot of these villages dont. They have to save the rainwater they get in October and November to last them as long as they can. Things apparently are getting a bit better as the Guatemalan Government is presently connecting them to a pipeline from Lake Peten (which really isnt that far away) and at a guess i presume thats what all the road digging/pipelaying going on in Flores is all about. Anyway, i digress, most of the houses are corregated iron ontop of breeze blocks and the amount of times we had to swerve to miss livestock merrily ambling down the main road, well its a miracle we did kill a whole host of pigs, chickens, cows, goats etc etc on the way!

We eventually got to Tikal which i have to say is one of the most awesome places i've defintely had the pleasure of seeing. I'm no culture vulture by any stretch of the immagination and really didnt know what to expect, i mean how impressive can a load of stone temples in a jungle really be?? The answer is very. For those that no nothing about Tikal the Mayans settled here around 700BC and after a load of real battles (alot of hack and slay going on back then) it became the main Mayan commercial, cultural and religious centre for about the next 1000 or so years. King Great Jaguar Paw (you got to love a good name like that) cottoned on that flint was a pretty handy tool for making spears and basically through his butal combat strategies (they used to surround their enemies and hurl a load of spears at them.... nice) they defeated everyone from the Yucatan Pennisula in Mexico, right through Belize and even down into Honduras. Impressive stuff. They also liked a Temple or two. And it is completely beyond me how they managed to build and maintain this huge civilisation in a pretty inhospitital part of the world (they estimate 150,000 people lived in Tikal at its peak.) What is also a bit odd is no one can come up with any real explanation as to why it all came to an end.... strange indeed.

So i stroll through the jungle, birds singing their heads off, monkeys howling (they have howler monkeys here, not that i saw one but you can certainly hear them) and leaping around (spider monkeys were the ones i got to see and take a few piccies of), damn hot and humid (even at 8am in the morning) and suddenly out of the blue you stumble across the back of Temple 1, all 44m of it. Crickey. As you turn the corner you are right into what the call the Great Plaza, Temple 1 facing a slightly smaller Temple 2 (only 38m, built by Lord Chocolate or Moon Double Comb for his lovely wife Lady Twelve Macaw, i'm not making these names up btw!) with a huge complex of temples to the north, funnily enough called the Northern Acropolis. The whole thing really is quite awe inspiring and leaves you wondering how this civilisation that existed here for almost 2000 years just disappeared without a trance without anyone really knowing it was there at all (it wasnt until 1877 that it was discovered and the whole excavation of the site and restoration of the temples as you see them today didnt properly start til the early1900s with most of the work happing in the 50s and 60s) I could go on about each individual Temple and all the various complexes of Palaces and Acropolises (plural of Acropolis, well something like that) but i really couldnt do it justice and i'm sure it would be rather dull for you all. That said the climb up Temple 4 which is the tallest at 69m and looks over all the other temples really was amazing (if not a little tiring and by then very hot work indeed) It took me around 5 hours to take in the whole site and after saying goodbye to the jungle (the last group on temples is called complexQ where apparently the high priest would sacrifice the odd person or two infront of an assembled crowd, just to keep them all in order and let them know that the Gods would be happy with them..... how very pleasant!) i staggered back to the car park to find Ismal and hopped back in the taxi for the drive back to Flores. All i can say is that if you are lucky enough to find yourself in this bit of the world, then a trip to Tikal is a must. You'll see what i mean when you get there.

We got back to Flores around 2 where i promptly collapsed into my air conditioned hotel room exhausted (and rather dehyrated!) After a gallon of water and a bit of a kip i thought i'd head out again for a few sunset beers (Coco Loco this time - a real rip off at 10Q a beer!) and a fantastic meal at La Luna (pork with a spicy pineapple sauce, should have got the recipe as it really was amazing, Jamie Oliver could learn a thing or two about cooking over here!!) I then decided i'd better try and sample the local nightlife, but in all honesty the only place i could find open was a sports bar showing Federer whipping someone else at tennis - not really what i had in mind. I figured given i was off to Antigua the following morning (i'd been warned the nightlife could get a little lively) i'd better call it a day and head home.


Friday was relatively uneventful - one last stroll around Flores to take in the Church (hugely impressive building ontop of the hill) and an omlet and beans for breccie at the aptly named Cool Beans restaurant. The only really annoying thing was that the internet cafe i was camped in merrily downloading photos onto facebook kept on losing its connection, which meant i kept on losing all the downloaded photos and had to start all over again, i got there in the end though after an awful lot of swearing!! And the other annoying thing was that my friendly taxi driver Ismal, who promised to be at the hotel at 2.30 to take me to the airport failed to materialise, i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe his little taxi had broken down, but in all honesty i'm guessing he got another trip out to Tikal and a $30 fare out there is much better than a 20Q to the airport (who can blame him really.) It did mean that i almost missed my flight though as taxi's werent as abundant as i thought they might be so i had a rather anxious dash through security and rushed onto the plane to Guatemala City cursing the afore mention Ismal! Alls well that ends well i guess.

So i'm now in Antigua Guatemala. Living with a family and a whole host of other travellers/volenteer workers (its sort of a bit like going back into student gigs but with some sort of parental guardians looking over you!) It a great crew, few Canadians, an Aussie, an Austrian, an American who is actually half Cuban, half Iranian and then a dutch couple and a Norweigen girl who i'm yet to meet. As you can guess its all rather lively and so far the only downside i've found is that we have to speak Spanish at mealtimes, which i'm not yet able to do (i have to sit and smile and nod rather alot!!) I'm told i'll pick it up very quickly which unless i'm destined to become some sort of mealtime mute i'm going to have to! Antigua itself would appear to be a very prosperous and happening town (you dont have to go back to many hundreds of years to find it was the capital of the whole of Central America) the only downside, which could be a saving grace for my liver, is that all bars and clubs close at 1am (how very un-Spanish is that??!!) Spanish lessons start tomorrow afternoon (4 hours a day for the next month) so by the time i'm typing up the next blog i'm hoping i'll be able to throw in more than a bit of Spanish - we'll have to wait and see.......

Off to breccie for me now (no doubt eggs and refried beans and some exceptionally good coffee) to try and get rid of this niggling headache i seem to have..... could it be something to do with me introducing my housemates to jaegerbombs last night???? Methinks it might!!

Until next time

B

Goodbye Belize.... Hello Guatemala...!!

And so after 10 most fantastic days it all came to an end. I sit here at the bar in Turneffe Flats (alone as everyone else has succumb to the sun, fishing and diving) after one too many Palm Beaches (a cocktail here involving rum, gin, pineapple and coconut) wishing i could stay for longer....Those elusive permit got the better of me (i cast at school for about 20 minutes this afternoon, but to no avail) in fact today was the first blank day fishing, but a good one all the same.

I didnt fish with my guide Cap this week as he was destined for bigger and better things (i.e. fishing with the Orvis group!!) but my new guide Micheal was equally as good. Younger, more chatty and as knowledgeable as Cap in every aspect of fishing, we hooked up with numerous bones and yesterday a truckload of barracuda (the ladies in the kitchen asked me to bring them back a fish and so we thought a 20lb 'cuda would do the job.... it did and fed all the staff last night... i have to admit that even i went and tried a bit with them in the kitchen... and damn fine it was too!!) I feel very sad to leave i have to say as this really is an awesome place and somehow everyone has decided that i'm one of them (to get to eat in the kitchen with the guides is the ultimate honour, something i've done twice in the last few days) but Guatemala beckons with many new adventures....

Things i'll remember and miss....

My little cabin with AC at night in this heat (but it appears that thats when i get bitten to death by the marauding mossies here...!)

The early morning stroll along the beach/flats....

Watching the Osprey catch bone fish in font of my cabin every other night....

Casting to that school of permit with Cap for 2 hrs before hooking and losing one within about 5 seconds...

Learning how to double haul properly...

But realising that casting lessons are a must before every saltwater fly trip (something i remind myself after every fishing trip i go on...)

Bizarrely getting told this afternoon that my casting to the school of permit was spot on and no one could have done it better (something that i know to be true)

Getting narced at the Blue Hole and then seeing a tonne of sharks that circled us for at least 10 minutes....

The Red Footed Boobies...

The Belikin beers at the bar......

Making a load of new friends that i know at some stage i will definitely see again (Jeff.... Alaska in Sep is a must!!)

Just generally being in a truly amazing place in Belize.....

My days fishing today was with Michael and Jeff (the director of fishing here) and i havent had such a fun day in a long time. The wind dropped, the sun was blisteringly hot and my casting, well, it was like i'd never cast a fly rod in my life.... desperately embarrassing but eventually sorted out when Jeff showed me how it should be done (and promptly hooked and lost a bone fish on his first cast!!) They always say that at the best places its always about the staff and the little things. Well here the staff are top notch from top to bottom and nothing is too much effort..... i will definitely be back, hopefully with a few fisher friends in tow.

Tomorrow i leave here at 7.30am to goto Belize City airport and fly to Flores in northern Guatemala (my trip through Belize City has unfortunately had to be postponed as i dont have time...) I spend 2 days there before heading to Guatemala City and then onto Antigua where i will try to immerse myself in Spanish to the degree that i'll be fluent by the time i return to Blighty ( a tall order i know!!) Who knows what will happen, or even how long i'll stay there (the folks here have already tried to hook me up with people diving, fishing, or just hanging out right through Central America) - so we'll have to see what happens.....

So until next time...

Hasta Luego!!!

B

Belize......

And so it came to pass that the crocs found themselves on an Island Paradise 30 miles off the coast of mainland Belize with a fishing rod and some dive gear....!!


Hello blogger friends and as you can see i've made to Central America..... and damn fine it is to. So after recovering from the trials and tribulations of Miami (well stomach bug and antibiotic poisoning) i've jetted down to sunny Belize which has been my home for the last week. Turneffe Flats...a fly fishing, diving and eco adveture resort according to the bumpf and it certainly covers all of those bases. Getting here was exceptionally easy (i even got upgraded by America Airlines for some unknown reason, think the crocs really do pull a few strings if you wear them in the right places!) and after hooking up with a couple of people on the plane that happened to be coming here aswell (hello Alaistair and Kim!) we were soon on our express jet boat with about 10 others making our way east to the resort. Turneffe Atoll, just as a bit of background, is the largest atoll in the Carribean and one of only 4 coral atolls in the Western Hemisphere. The reef here is the second largest in the world, just behind the Great Barrier Reef in Oz and that makes for amazing diving and funnily enough amazing fishing.


To say the resort is 5 star would probably be a slight understatement, you live in fantastic bungalows with en suite bathrooms, AC and you can even drink the water which i'm led to believe is rather unusual in this part of the world (something i'm not going to be trying on any other legs on the Central American tour!) The bungalows open right out on to the beach and reef and there is a huge coral/sand flat straight in front of that so you can flyfish until your arm falls off (i was stalking it only a few hours ago with a flytyer/fishing guide called Elvis, yes, he's alive and well and hiding in Belize!) The other key building is the main lodge where bizarrely they have internet access (on an island in the middle of the ocean? What is the world coming to?) which is where i'm currently typing away (Easter Saturday.... all the other guest left this morning and i'm the only one here, waiting for a boatful of Orvis anglers to arrive) Its also where the bar is (v important, it also has a seemly inexhaustible supply of Belikin, the local brew!) and where you have all your meals (which are hearty and excellent). It never ceases to amaze me that these incredible places exist in the remotest parts of the world, the logistics of running a resort like this must just be mind boggling.... as you can tell i'm a bit of a fan!


So arrived last Saturday, big old group of anglers, a few divers (well Kim and myself as i'm technically a diver and angler whilst i'm here) and a family group doing the whole eco tour thing (snorkeling, trekking round the islands and looking for saltwater crocs which rather worryingly are here in abundance) I have to admit the first night everyone turned in rather early as a) it had been a long day travelling and b) fisher people always want to get up v early doors to get the first fish, an accolade that went to Mika and Austen who had had 7 bonefish between them before breakfast....!!

My fishing guide for the week was a chap called Cap - a man of few words but actually a font of knowledge especially when it comes to fishing, diving, boats, basically anything to do with Turneffe and Belize. I knew we'd hit it off instantly as he is also a fellow crocs wearer - always a good sign!! We've had an awesome week fishing together, even though i know he thinks my casting and general fly fishing skills are well below par... which sadly they are! The fishing here really is superb, the main quarry being permit which is one of the hardest fish to catch on the fly. They're exceptionally rare (i believe this place has the largest population in the world), exceptionally skittish (a wrong cast and a school of 50 can vanish in a second) and exceptionally fussy (they feed almost exclusively on crabs which makes catching them a bit tough) I've hooked and lost 1 and now only have 3 more days left to try and catch one. Given that between 8 anglers last week only 3 were caught (and some of these guys can properly fish) you sort of get the picture..... The other two main targets are bonefish (fish that you stalk across the flats, i have had about 12 or so this week and catching them is always very exciting as they tear off across the flats at about a million miles an hour as soon as hooked) and tarpon (huge prehistoric looking fish that fight like hell, they've been responsible for 3 broken rods this week alone). If you're very lucky and pray to the fishing gods you can try for a Grand Slam which is a bonefish, permit and tarpon all in one day... the equivalent of a hole in one in golf i guess. They get about 20 grand slams a year here and Austen (a very experienced flyfishing chap from Cornwall) got one last Tuesday which meant we had a rather rocking night in the bar at his expense! Always nice!!


So the daily routine goes something like this, up at 6am - walk the flats looking for bones in front on the bungalows (and generally catch nothing), breccie, then out with Cap on his skiff around 7.30ish.... trawl around certain parts of the lagoon looking for permit, find them, cast twice and scare them off (trying to hide embarrassment due to poor casting ability and apologise profusely, the guides are all quite competitive and catching permit is the icing on the cake for them!) then stalk the flats for bones, catch a few, grab a bite of lunch around midday and then off to the deeper channels to try and find a tarpon. I'm still yet to see a tarpon but a few have been caught this week so i know that they are here and exist. You then fish til around 5, come back to the lodge, shower and then hit the bar for beers and fishy tales (the one that got away predominantly) before dinner at 7.30. After that everyones generally so knackered (a full day in the Belizian sun really does seem to take it out of you) that most people turn in and prepare for another day of fishing battles. The weather does seem to play a large part in your fishing success and unfortunately we had two very stormy days last week which resulted in the fish turning off completely (apparently fish don't seem to like bad weather either) - choppy seas, rain, wind, all the things you really don't want when out in a small boat trying to cast flies at fussy fish. Thankfully the suns come back out and the wind seems to be dropping so with a bit of luck my fishing results should improve!


The other main pastime here is diving. And of course the big thing to do when in Belize is dive the Blue Hole. Now the day i decided to do this was the day after the big storm... and the Blue Hole is on the adjacent reef system (Lighthouse Atoll) which unfortunately you have to cross 20 miles of open ocean to get to. Normally this is a fairly uneventful part of the trip (it should take about 45 mins) but after a storm, in huge swells and with a small dive boat.... not a good idea. I can only compare it to an hour and a half on a roller coaster (thats how long it took to get there) with the boat being buffeted around all over the place and slamming down on 10 foot waves every 30 seconds. We were soaked to the skin and i have to admit i was just a little bit scared (my seafaring skills being rather limited) but as the dive guide and captain of the boat promised, we got there in one piece. The Blue Hole itself is a huge collapsed cave that is very deep (its estimated at around 400-500 feet) You dive to about 40m where there are some huge stalactites and then amble back up the wall. So, i was rather nervous, soaked and about to embark on my deepest dive ever. It started ok, but as soon as we got to 40m i experienced for the first time proper narcosis (nitrogen at depth has the same effect on the body as sinking 4 shots of vodka, something that if you've been keeping up with the blog you know i've been doing quite a bit of recently!!) - Alex the dive master took a picture of me down there and i really do look as though i'm away with the fairies.... i'll post it on facebook when i get a sec. All very weird i can tell you. Thankfully we were only down there 7 minutes (that's all that the body will allow i'm told) and as soon as we were back at around 20m i was fine. But that's when the sharks appeared. Big ones and lots of them. We had been primed for this as Alex had said there was a good chance of seeing sharks and told us not to worry as the Blue Hole sharks are well fed and not a threat to humans. But when six of them appear out of nowhere, one being a 10ft bull shark, its still gives you a bit of a shock!! Again the piccies will be on facebook just as soon as i get to an internet cafe with a little more bandwidth than here. The sharks hung around for quite a while and bizarrely it was a bit of a shame to have to go back up to the surface, i guess its not often you get to dive with big but friendly sharks!!

Next stop was half moon Caye, a world heritage site that was just stunning. Proper Robinson Crusoe type stuff i can tell you. The island is protected because of the red footed boobies (no sniggering at the back...!) that live there, in fact this is one of their only nesting sites in the Carribean. You even have a bird viewing platform so that you can climb into the treetops to hang out with the birds. At this time of year its pretty cool as the boobies are all nesting and there were hundreds of big flat fluffy chicks sat in nests waiting to be fed, obviously resulting in lots of oooohhhs and aaahs from the assembled birdwatchers! The boobies actually have a pretty tough time as they share their home with fregate birds, huge black seafaring birds that you'd probably recognise from a David Attenbourough documentary or two. The fregate birds mob the boobies as they return with a belly full of fish for the youngsters and more often than not the boobies panic, spilling their entire fishing days contents in mid air that the fregates then gobble up. Tough life indeed if you then have to fly for several hours out to sea to find fish again.....

That's about it adventure wise so far. I could go on about the huge Friday night Cuba Libre session we had as all the other fishermen left today, but my mum already seems to think that i'm drinking myself to death on this trip so i wont give you the full details, but needless to say i didn't feel too crisp this morning (it was the only big drinking night we've had this week so i don't feel too bad about it i have to say.)

Next stop is Guatemala, i fly there on Wednesday after a day in Belize City (with a guide i hasten to add, Belize City is not the safest place in the world i'm told) I'm planning on going to Flores to see the Mayan ruins in Tikal and then onto Guatemala City before heading to Antigua where i set up camp with my Guatemalan family in an attempt to learn Spanish. Could be interesting as my extent of the Spanish language is "hello" and "two beers please"....!!! One thing i do know is there'll definitely be a tale or two...!!

So until next time, have fun out there and look forward to updating you soon....

B

Miami - Ami- Ami

Hello All!!


I know this is all rather quick in blog update terms but thought i need to let you know how i'm getting on.....


As you can see from the pic, the crocs have found themselves sky high overlooking Miami, what jet setting crocs they are!


Now, i did expect to be laid low with illness at some stage on my sabbatical travels, but in Miami?? No, surely not.... After returning from HK and having literally 72 hours back in Blightly to pack up my old kitbag for 2 months in Central America i foolishly decided that my last night should be spent, well in Bath. Of course, Bath vs Wasps on a Wednesday night, it would have been stupid not to go down and see the mighty Bath put Wasps to the sword and see them off in classic champagne rugby style (shame they lost to Quins at the weekend but then i wasnt cheering from the stands so what do you expect!!) Maybe it was the Old Speckled Hen, maybe the Gem bitter, maybe i caught the bug that MPH's boys had had the previous week, or maybe it was the British Rail bacon roll i had as my dinner around 11pm on the way back to London... any of these things could have been the cause. But one thing i do know is that when i boarded my flight to Miami early doors Thursday morning i really wasnt feeling my best.... i tried my hardest to put it to the back of my mind.... a few G+Ts didnt help.... i watched the most awesome film (The Curious case of Benjamin Button - you have to see it, not often that Brad Pitt gets nominated for an Oscar but i can see why he was) and then tried to get some kip... none of this worked. (and if you are the Frenchman that was sitting next to me in 60J i can only apologise profusely for what happened mid flight.... i really cant go into that here i'm afraid...!!)



On arriving in the good old US of A i was feeling dreadful, and the last thing one needs when all you really want is to be next to a toilet is to spend 2 hours queuing to get through immigration. Oh dear - thankfully i survived and promptly jumped in a cab to join a select assembled posse in the Shore Club. A fantastic hotel i have to say (especially if you manage to blag a corporate rate - thank you very much chaps) but it did nothing to raise my rather ill spirits. Having donned my trunks and strolled down to the pool i thought a gentle swim and a refreshing ale would sort me out. Unfortunately not. As a quick aside, i have never seen so much plastic surgery on such a young group of people around that pool in my life. Not that i'm complaining, i mean i appreciate some surgical enhancement as much as the next guy (some would argue maybe a bit more) - but i was truely amazed.... it was all offset but an enormous lady from the North of England in some wholly inappropriate swimwear, which actually made me feel a bit better about myself (it would appear that gentleman of a larger frame dont hang out around the Shore Club pool.... sod 'em thats what i say!!) I went to freshen up as we were having dinner at Nobu (which conveniently happens to be in the Shore Club) and to highlight how ill i actually felt i had to go to bed midway through the starters (anyone who knows how much i love a bit of sushi will realise how ill i must have been feeling) In bed at 10pm... up at 11 and 12 and 1 and 2..... you get the picture.


The next morning i really wasnt feeling much better but went for a swim and a stroll along the beach to try and make myself feel better. I figured i should eat some breccie which sort of went down ok, but it wasnt long before i was back in my bathroom. Midday a fellow Bath supporter who has a glorious pad in Miami invited me round to check out the other end of South Beach. Chilling around a must quieter and much less surgically enhanced pool i thought i might have turned the corner. But no - after returning to the hotel and having another stroll along the beach i realised i needed to be back within a safe distance of a loo exceptionally quickly and had a rather anxious dart back along the beach with both teeth and buttocks firmly clenched.... not good at all.

That evening we were going out for a friends birthday in the swanky restaurant that's in Hotel Victor. Being well behind the alcohol curve (a few 0f the boys had been drinking all day) and still feeling decidedly rubbish i managed to make it through the meal but had to retire hurt straight afterwards feeling very guilty for letting the side down. It was also at this time i realised that i was obviously allergic to the antibiotics i'd taken late afternoon as a last ditched attempt to get rid of whatever lurgy i had. My face had come up in what can only said to be some Quasimodo type hives that really didnt look good. Thankfully a gallon of water seemed to stop the swelling but i have to admit that even now i still have some rather odd looking lumps dotted around my face, something that none of the fisher/divers i'm here in Belize with have mentioned (they must think i was born with some awful disfiguring disease and are just being polite!!)

So that was Miami - i woke up on Saturday morning after 10 hours sleep feeling a million times better, jumped in a cab to the airport and flew to Belize, which is where i am presently in a fantastic resort called Turneffe Flats. I will update you on Turneffe in my next blog, but i have to say that i could happily stay here for a very long time (if only the wind would drop a little so that i could improve my casting and catch more than 3 fish a day!!) I dive the Blue Hole in 2 days time which i'm told will be amazing and with a bit of luck might even catch a Permit (the hardest saltwater species to catch on a fly, and i hooked and lost one yesterday... bugger!!)

So i leave you kicking back, flyrod in one hand, Cuba Libre in the other, the crocs resting at the bottom of a palm tree in the sand.... life really doesnt get that much better does it..??!!

B

Hong Kong 7s

Hello again one and all!! And again i have to apologise for being quiet for so long.... so much to see, not enough time to blog, the world truely is cruel....oh and also i have to apologise for the state of the crocs in the picture, they did take a bit of a hammering over their time in Hong Kong!

So Hong Kong - a place i've been to only once before on the way to the 2001 Lions, where i spent 12 drunken hours before staggering back onto a plane to Sydney.... this time is was 4 days before staggering back onto a plane to London and my what a 4 days it was.....

Firstly, i've worked out why they call it the Hong Kong 7s.... its got nothing to do with the number of players in a 7s rugby team, but a reference to how many livers you need to get through the weekend. I think i can hold my head up high to say that i can sink an ale or two, but this really was something else. I arrived bright eyed and brushy tailed at 5.30 in the afternoon on the Friday ready for something to quench my thirst. As luck would have it my friend and guide for the weekend had been on an all day lunch and so i hottailed it to WangChai (i know that has to be spelt wrong) to go and join him and his lunch guests for a late afternoon beer. Beer, wine, more beer, we were then saved as his wife came to join us for a quick drink and to take us to dinner....Food was definitely a good idea as it didnt really feature again properly until the following evening (the late night kebabs in HK really arent as good as the real deal in Gizel on Clapham High St!) Dinner was a very grown up affair in a Chinese place not far from Lang Quai Fong (again i know this is the wrong spelling), all rather underground and red lighting, unusual but great (spicy pork in cabbage leaves... a must for any traveller from the UK!)

It was after dinner that things really hotted up on the drinking front... firstly a place called Waygu where we hooked up with a big old bunch of people before heading out into the night. I even bumped into some colleagues from MF which was an unexpected surprise, but it came in handy to know we had a box at the 7s that i could visit throughout the weekend. After some lemon drops (basically lemon vodka with a few other added ingredients just to spice it up) some expresso martinis (surely these need no explanation) and some vodka and ginger beers (a popular local tipple in HK) we then headed to the carnage that was the Fong proper. If youve never seen it its a steeply sloping road lined with bars and packed with drunken revellers. Infact it was so packed that you really couldnt move. (i'm told its like this alot of the time, not just when the 7s are on) Its was a bit like being in the middle of a rugby carnival, every single nation was there, everyone was exceptionally merry and there wasnt even a hint of trouble. Vodka ginger beer, vodka tonics, damn we even had our fill of vodka jelly (a bar called Als Dinner does a great line in vodka jelly so we felt it churlish not to have a few) Our ragtag and bobtail crew merrily squeezed its way up and down the Fong, until around 3am we then felt a) kebabs were required and b) we should go drinking somewhere else. I have to admit its around this time that i really did lose my bearings (being very much the worse for wear) and so i cant really tell you where we ended up, all that i can say it involved another heaving bar and yet more vodka..... Home time seemed to come around 4ish (or was it 5ish) where we staggered back to Repluse Bay and promptly woke up Alex's wife and 16 month old daughter (surely she wanted to cuddle Daddy stinking of booze at 5am??!!) - i dont think we were that popular to be honest.....

What seemed like a blink of an eye later i was being told that i had to be up as we had to be at the Stadium asap. Its was 7am, i had been in bed barely an hour or so. And was still rather drunk, and now even a little jet lagged... not a great combination, but when in Rome... i was up and at it. We were in the South Stand at 7.55. Now those that have been to the HK 7s before know all about the South Stand. A legendary place where one has their drinking skills tested to a new level. I have to say i did protest a little being given my first litre of beer at 8am in what seemed to be an exceptionally empty stand. This was so we could get in and get decent seats i was told... but theres no one here (except for a group dressed as Superheros and a couple of buxom wenches who really were grabbing a bit of attention and rightly so!!) Our new drinking posse for the day also promptly arrived, dressed as Frenchmen and as luck would have it a Frenchman outfit for me aswell. So i was going to be a Frenchman for the day... not a great thing in the South Stand where the chant "stand up if you hate the French" rings out all day. And it was at this moment that it dawned on me that the South Stand was now virtually full... every single fancy dress outfit in the world was there..... 12,000 drunken revellers, still reeling from the night before and all with beers in hand (or Pimms if you were being grown up) revved up and raring for Saturday at the 7s. It was 8.45. And thats how things progressed for the next 6-7 hours - beer, singing, throwing beer, getting told off for throwing beer, more singing, wondering who was playing rugby on the pitch but not really caring too much (all the real rugby action is on the Sunday) Behind our little enclave of Frenchmen some real Frenchmen had appeared. 40 of them. Dressed as Gendarmes (and also some rather delightful Gendarmettes) who were also drinking beer, singing (in French) and eating cheese. Lots of it, which as we were now French for the day they merrily shared with us. It really was a very enjoyable experience. Singing "Ou est le papier" and being drowned out by the real lyrics to the Marseilles and eating brie. Around 3pm i thought i would escape for an hour or so and head to the MF box. Welcome relief from the carnage of the South Stand (Caroline, Matt and Peter many thanks for letting me stumble in in my very descheveled state...) I quaffed a few more beers, some vodka redbull (as now was feeling rather tired) when the Lord smiled on me and i received a text from my friend and guide saying he'd been thrown out of the 7s. Thank you Jesus - it meant i could leave and try and put myself back together. Back at Repulse Bay and it was only 6pm so i could get a bit of kip before yet more drinking. I passed out, woke at 8pm to be told we were having a night in with pizza and some of my hosts friends. Thank God. Pizza, red wine, some good chat and was in bed at 2.30am (later than i would have liked but at last i could sleep and sober up) - perfect.

Sunday and up at a reasonable hour (10) and straight out for brunch. I always think youve got a good day in store when your first drink is a berroca and your second a G+T! Steak and eggs HK style and then straight back to the Stadium. We arrived just in time to see England knocked out in the quarter finals by Fiji. And instead of the South Stand, the MF box (thanks again for letting me and my chums in) - this didnt however mean less drinking, if anything probably more drinking, but in a more refined environment. Jugs of red wine and vodka and tonics were the order of the afternoon and we sat and saw some stunning rugby. Fiji deserved winners beating South Africa in the final. The afternoon drifted into evening and as the winners medals were handed out we ambled to the restaurant we were having dinner in, a mere 30 minute stroll from the ground. We hooked up with the rest of the crew and had a stunning roast, well needed after an afternoon of ales. A few bottles of red and a few amerettos and we made the decision that another night out on the tiles was the way forward. Arriving back in the Fong it became obvious that we were by far the most sober people in the rugby carnival that was now in full swing. Nothing 4 shots of lemon vodka wouldnt sort out. Back on the horse as one says! Another huge evening ensued, the highlight for me had to be stopping one of the England rugby 7s side getting into a fracar with some rather drunk and obnoxious fans. (same old Leicester, always fighting!)The evening passed by in another alcoholic daze and around 5am, kebab in hand i was on the phone to people in the UK telling them what an amazing place HK was. Not that i really remember. Bed at 6am again... funny how that happens over there.

Monday morning i awoke really feeling the side effects of 2 and a half days on the lash. Thankfully i didnt really have anything to do so at least i could recover. We spent most of the day walking the lovely Georgia (the 16 month old daughter) along the beach and chilling (and rehydrating!) returning to the flat for bbqed steaks and sweet potatos late afternoon. Heaven. I must say a huge thank you to Alex and Kate (and of course Georgia) for putting up with me for my time in HK - amazing hospitality, thank you very much. After packing and goodbyes i was back off to the airport for the long flight home. And i have to say i slept almost the entire 13 hours which must say something about what state i was in!

So now Miami and then onto Belize before Central America.... this trip just gets better and better... i just hope the crocs are upto it as even after a good scrub they still look a little worse for wear. Heaven knows what theyre going to look like in 2 months time!

Catch you all later

B